So, we bought the old house hoping hoping to be able to restore it. We love the old. We wanted the old. The analogy of our life was so evident too: it needs a new foundation, but there's a lot of salvageable wood, and we can just lift it up and restore the foundation, right? And then restore on top of that.
But as we often find when we honestly open up to self-examination, it was over our heads. The cost of trying to keep everything together and slip a foundation underneath was just too high. So with the insight and advice of several trustworthy counselors, we instead decided to rebuild completely. We went back and forth on this point for over a month, running different numbers, counting different costs, till we finally came to this conclusion.
A few days ago Roy pointed out to me, "ya know, I get it now. The Lord knew this all along (of course) and he even showed me! Remember Haggai, which the Lord used to confirm to me what He was doing with us here while we were in escrow? It says "rebuild" and I was thinking, "Yeah, whatever Lord, you mean 'restore' and 'remodel'. I think I'll listen more carefully next time and let that weigh in heavier at the beginning!" (I love the way our Daddy so gently leads and trains us to hear Him!)
We still wanted to salvage as much as we could, (and save money) (of course), so we did the demolition ourselves, board by board. This was an awesome and beautiful experience, a time travel of sorts. And it was incredible lessons. There is a lot of precious and valuable wood that we were able to save, which we hope to incorporate into our new house. But there was a hell of a lot more rotted, twisted and cracked then we first perceived. There was so much to be discarded! (There's another God story about that… about the people God brings alongside you completely miraculously to help you in this difficult task…)
So we realized, the analogy of our life just got deeper. It's not just a prop-up-fix-the-foundation. It's a board by board evaluation of every stud in our life (except for Roy…I try not to overanalyze him… he might be "a bit of a fixer-upper" but so am I…). And as we examine, we can keep what's good and discard what's not.
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
pacifiers (another Musing from Mark)
Mark 15:15
So to pacify the crowd…
~
How low would I stoop to pacify the crowd? If my nature is in any way normal human nature (and I believe, unfortunately, that I'm pretty average) then I get to see exactly how low I would stoop. If put to the test, I would stoop so low as to torture and kill the King of the Universe, Love itself. I would violate my own conscience, attempt to "wash my hands" of the matter and claim I felt coerced. I would try to absolve myself of responsibility, while using my actual authority and influence to protect myself from my biggest fear: other people's anger. I would justify silencing the truth I know by bowing before "Keeping The Peace" and "Preventing A Riot." I would play Hot-Potato and other political games to try to keep myself from being burned or losing my power.
Thank you, Pilate. I'm driven to my knees again.
So to pacify the crowd…
~
How low would I stoop to pacify the crowd? If my nature is in any way normal human nature (and I believe, unfortunately, that I'm pretty average) then I get to see exactly how low I would stoop. If put to the test, I would stoop so low as to torture and kill the King of the Universe, Love itself. I would violate my own conscience, attempt to "wash my hands" of the matter and claim I felt coerced. I would try to absolve myself of responsibility, while using my actual authority and influence to protect myself from my biggest fear: other people's anger. I would justify silencing the truth I know by bowing before "Keeping The Peace" and "Preventing A Riot." I would play Hot-Potato and other political games to try to keep myself from being burned or losing my power.
Thank you, Pilate. I'm driven to my knees again.
Musings from Mark
Mark 12:28-34
One of the teachers of religious law was standing there listening to the discussion. He realized Jesus had answered well, so he asked, "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?"
Jesus replied, "The most important commandment is this: 'Hear O Israel! The Lord our God is the one and only Lord. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind and all your strength.' The second is equally important: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' No other commandment is greater than these."
The teacher of religious law replied, "Well said, Teacher. You have spoken the truth by saying that there is only one God and no other. And I know it is important to love him with all my heart and all my understanding and all my strength, and to love my neighbor as myself. This is more important than to offer all of the burnt offerings and sacrifices required in the law."
Realizing this man's understanding, Jesus said to him, "You are not far from the Kingdom of God." And no one dared question him after that.
~
What an interesting encounter. A teacher of religious law who for once was hanging around listening with interest, not simply trying to trap Jesus. Can't help but wonder if it was Nicodemus or Joseph… And its an interesting question, really; the best question that could come from a teacher of religious law, probably. Or course, to someone whose life is defined by laws, it would be good to know which is the most important.
Jesus' answer is interesting, too. When people questioned with impure motives, he usually answered with a question which would expose that. But here, he shows such grace in engaging with one right at their own level, in their own world. (His answer, of course, is the one law that points away from us and what we do for God and points back to the heart of being in relationship with God and people.) He points back to loving God, which we know is a reciprocal, derivative re-turning what we've first received from Him.
So Jesus says, "you want the most important commandment? Ok, I'll give you the most important commandment. With no games, no embarrassing you; I'll just tell you." Then what I find so interesting in this is what is NOT said; how it falls flat; I feel a loaded silence after this whole exchange. This teacher of religious law, this man who was informed and defined by what he did for God, wasn't ready to let go. He cared to know which was the most important commandment, but he didn't dare ask if there was anything more important than the commandments.
When he receives Jesus' answer with agreement, it is so….nice…and polite…and obvious that while he's close, yet he's still so far away. Instead of falling on his face, or embracing Jesus, or pouring out his expensive perfume, or kissing his feet, or any of the natural responses that we see when the reality of this theory is pressed into someone's heart, - instead we see a sterile and calculated response that is yet …so close! Just one teeny, tiny, quantum leap, brother scribe!
I see that the idea of this one God is important to you, and pleasing Him is terribly* important to you, and I see that you must have no inkling that you are, in fact, conversing with HIM. And it makes me wonder, if you're so close, what IS it that's keeping you blinded to the reality of Emmanuel, God-with-us? Could it be that, while you understand that the great commandment is more important than all the offerings and sacrifices, yet your infatuation with commands is keeping you blind? Your knowledge is there (- that it's most important to love God-) but its like you've forgotten to actually just do it. You're not far from the Kingdom; you're standing in the doorway, but facing out; not wanting to turn around from what you're doing for God, and just enter in!
*By "terribly"I mean "terribly".
One of the teachers of religious law was standing there listening to the discussion. He realized Jesus had answered well, so he asked, "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?"
Jesus replied, "The most important commandment is this: 'Hear O Israel! The Lord our God is the one and only Lord. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind and all your strength.' The second is equally important: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' No other commandment is greater than these."
The teacher of religious law replied, "Well said, Teacher. You have spoken the truth by saying that there is only one God and no other. And I know it is important to love him with all my heart and all my understanding and all my strength, and to love my neighbor as myself. This is more important than to offer all of the burnt offerings and sacrifices required in the law."
Realizing this man's understanding, Jesus said to him, "You are not far from the Kingdom of God." And no one dared question him after that.
~
What an interesting encounter. A teacher of religious law who for once was hanging around listening with interest, not simply trying to trap Jesus. Can't help but wonder if it was Nicodemus or Joseph… And its an interesting question, really; the best question that could come from a teacher of religious law, probably. Or course, to someone whose life is defined by laws, it would be good to know which is the most important.
Jesus' answer is interesting, too. When people questioned with impure motives, he usually answered with a question which would expose that. But here, he shows such grace in engaging with one right at their own level, in their own world. (His answer, of course, is the one law that points away from us and what we do for God and points back to the heart of being in relationship with God and people.) He points back to loving God, which we know is a reciprocal, derivative re-turning what we've first received from Him.
So Jesus says, "you want the most important commandment? Ok, I'll give you the most important commandment. With no games, no embarrassing you; I'll just tell you." Then what I find so interesting in this is what is NOT said; how it falls flat; I feel a loaded silence after this whole exchange. This teacher of religious law, this man who was informed and defined by what he did for God, wasn't ready to let go. He cared to know which was the most important commandment, but he didn't dare ask if there was anything more important than the commandments.
When he receives Jesus' answer with agreement, it is so….nice…and polite…and obvious that while he's close, yet he's still so far away. Instead of falling on his face, or embracing Jesus, or pouring out his expensive perfume, or kissing his feet, or any of the natural responses that we see when the reality of this theory is pressed into someone's heart, - instead we see a sterile and calculated response that is yet …so close! Just one teeny, tiny, quantum leap, brother scribe!
I see that the idea of this one God is important to you, and pleasing Him is terribly* important to you, and I see that you must have no inkling that you are, in fact, conversing with HIM. And it makes me wonder, if you're so close, what IS it that's keeping you blinded to the reality of Emmanuel, God-with-us? Could it be that, while you understand that the great commandment is more important than all the offerings and sacrifices, yet your infatuation with commands is keeping you blind? Your knowledge is there (- that it's most important to love God-) but its like you've forgotten to actually just do it. You're not far from the Kingdom; you're standing in the doorway, but facing out; not wanting to turn around from what you're doing for God, and just enter in!
*By "terribly"I mean "terribly".
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