When I stepped outside for my run, I thought "ahh- the perfect day" (And truly, it was; I'll put in a plug for CA: 1/12/09, 73F, clear dark blue sky, bright sun.) But on to the moral...
I walked about a 1/4 mile, enjoying the day. Then I started running, still enjoying the day. I ran for about 10 minutes in one direction before a 90 degree turn. It was funny how right at that turn the wind picked up significantly. And another little turn brought even more wind. Of course at that time I realized the wind hadn't just picked up, but rather I only noticed it when it wasn't helping me. Made me realize (again) how easy it is to take things for granted when they're advantageous and get really perturbed when they're not!
It gave me a good opportunity to practice living right in the moment, vertically. Doing the best I can do in the exact circumstances I'm in right now, not comparing to past performance or future ideals.... I kept wanting to just give up and walk because it was so hard and slow pushing my big stroller against the wind. But why? Who said I had to be fast? Who said if you can't be fast, just give up? When people used to tell me "this will build character" I would reply with my brother's line "my character already has four walls and a roof"; but I'm seeing that really I'm still doing the excavation! (For the curious, I did stop and catch my breath and stretch, but then continued on slowly toward my finish, thinking of building character, not of how slowly I was running.)
Then, last night as I was getting ready for bed, I overheard Roy reading to Adriel from "A Young Person's Guide to Philosophy". And I quote: "St. Augustine said that time began for us when God created the world. This posed the question of God's existence before time. Augustine's answer was that God dwelt in an eternal present, outside earthly time. This led Augustine to the theory that "now" is all that really exists. The past is a present memory, and the future is a present expectation. This view allowed Augustine to stress the importance of what people are doing for God, not what they will do." End of quote and rather apropos, I thought.
P.S. Remembering Micah 6:8 though, I will have to add my slant to good old St. Augustine, and remind myself that all that I do for God is because I love Him so much for being The One who loves me when I don't or can't do anything! Thus, my life is for Him, not because He needs me, but because I need Him. I believe Augustine's stress was on "living presently", not "pleasing God through our works", but I felt it needed clarification, especially following Micah 6:8.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Monday, December 8, 2008
Micah 6:8
"He has shown you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you, but to do justly, to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God?"
I've thought about this verse from the prophet Micah a bit; I'm always one to like a clear instruction, especially one relating to how to please God. Good with lists: that's me. There's something so self-satisfying in being able to check off the good things I've done. The problem is that self satisfaction is an oxymoron; at its best it's fleeting; at its worst it's a merciless treadmill of trying to create and do more and more things that make me feel like I'm good.
When I look at what Micah actually SAYS though, it's exactly the opposite of trying to please God through my own goodness. Check out this preceding passage:
With what shall I come before the LORD
and bow down before the exalted God?
Shall I come before him with burnt offerings,
with calves a year old?
Will the LORD be pleased with thousands of rams,
with ten thousand rivers of oil?
Shall I offer my firstborn for my transgression,
the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?
I hear Micah saying that it's not about all the sacrifices I can make; it's about throwing myself at God's mercy, and loving Him for it: realizing and living out that mercy trumps everything else, especially in things like judgement and justification of myself. To know that I just don't (and can't) quite cut it, but God loves me anyway... That is satisfaction!
I've thought about this verse from the prophet Micah a bit; I'm always one to like a clear instruction, especially one relating to how to please God. Good with lists: that's me. There's something so self-satisfying in being able to check off the good things I've done. The problem is that self satisfaction is an oxymoron; at its best it's fleeting; at its worst it's a merciless treadmill of trying to create and do more and more things that make me feel like I'm good.
When I look at what Micah actually SAYS though, it's exactly the opposite of trying to please God through my own goodness. Check out this preceding passage:
With what shall I come before the LORD
and bow down before the exalted God?
Shall I come before him with burnt offerings,
with calves a year old?
Will the LORD be pleased with thousands of rams,
with ten thousand rivers of oil?
Shall I offer my firstborn for my transgression,
the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?
I hear Micah saying that it's not about all the sacrifices I can make; it's about throwing myself at God's mercy, and loving Him for it: realizing and living out that mercy trumps everything else, especially in things like judgement and justification of myself. To know that I just don't (and can't) quite cut it, but God loves me anyway... That is satisfaction!
Friday, April 4, 2008
Woga
Roy and I enjoy practicing yoga together; these days, Adriel doesn't like to be left out of the action. He was hogging my mat so much that I decided to stop and take a photo. He calls it "woga".
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Unexpected help
While I was cooking dinner last night, for the sake of conversation I asked Adriel if he would help me set the table in a little while. Of course he was agreeable, but I didn't know that he had set to work this diligently. A few minutes later I walked out of the kitchen, and there was this! Needless to say, I'm proud of my boy.
Friday, January 11, 2008
To tell you the truth...
Recently someone commented to me that ever-popular phrase, "truth is relative." Is it? IF that is true -(just for the sake of argument, I'll assume it is) - must I assume that it is an idea belonging to some, unprovable, not really useful to humanity as a whole? I would propose that opinions are relative; perspectives are relative; dogma is (most often) relative; understanding truth is relative : the truth is not.
I believe God's Word, The Holy Bible, to be true and the truth; (that's just a faith thing with me.) It's where I turn when I want to get to the root of things like truth, and the meaning of life, and other such things. And yet, Jesus-God, through His inspired word, tells me that HE is the truth. "I am the way, the truth, and the life." When I think of Jesus saying this, I am suddenly aware of a very Personal aspect of truth. In a paradoxical way, this strengthens my faith that God's Word is truth too, since through it I learn of a Living Truth : an infinite, Creative source of all reality, far beyond the limited realms of my senses and intellect.
...
(This unfinished post has been sitting on my computer for 4 days now.... I'm just going to post what thoughts I already have down, because I'm not getting back to it in a timely manner. To be continued, if possible.)
I believe God's Word, The Holy Bible, to be true and the truth; (that's just a faith thing with me.) It's where I turn when I want to get to the root of things like truth, and the meaning of life, and other such things. And yet, Jesus-God, through His inspired word, tells me that HE is the truth. "I am the way, the truth, and the life." When I think of Jesus saying this, I am suddenly aware of a very Personal aspect of truth. In a paradoxical way, this strengthens my faith that God's Word is truth too, since through it I learn of a Living Truth : an infinite, Creative source of all reality, far beyond the limited realms of my senses and intellect.
...
(This unfinished post has been sitting on my computer for 4 days now.... I'm just going to post what thoughts I already have down, because I'm not getting back to it in a timely manner. To be continued, if possible.)
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Dawn of Group
We've been teaching weekly group lessons for quite a while now. Honestly, I don't know if it's been 6 months or 2 years, but definitely a "while." Our underlying focus at group has been learning about chords, keys, and improvisation, so both Roy and I have learned a ton as we prepare each lesson and teach it. The last month, though, I had been running out of fresh ideas that would (somehow) challenge the more advanced and not leave the beginners in the dust. Slowly, a lightbulb has been dimming on in my brain. It all started about a month ago when...
Adriel was sick. It was Roy's work Sunday. (Okay, already the day was long.) When Roy got home, we decided that he would stay home with Adriel and I would go by myself to teach group. As a group we were preparing to play at a nursing home in 2 weeks, so we already had a set list of about 20 songs and just needed to polish our cohesion and presentation. I was not prepared to teach anything more than that. So, we played. When it came time to sing "Amazing Grace", I asked Mr. Baird for some help (I can't sing and play. Roy usually leads at this point.) He took a moment to remind us who we're singing about and who we sing for. He asked us all to forget that we have untrained and (for the most part) untalented voices. He lightheartedly asked all the kids to sing out, because he was going to sing out and needed them to at least be as loud as him. And so, they did! (Usually getting the kids to sing is worse than pulling teeth.)
On the way home that night, I started thinking "that was a really great group time. Even though we didn't really LEARN anything, it was still encouraging and enriching."
The next week, Roy led. Again, we were mostly just polishing up for playing at the nursing home, so he opted to not introduce anything new. After we went through our list, he dismissed any who were through playing (gulp) and those of us who wanted to keep on gathered in and he led us in some Bible verse songs he's been working on. As our enthusiasm and volume grew the kids who had been so happy to be dismissed early started paying attention, gathering in, singing, going back to rough-housing for a while, then singing again. It was very relaxed; there was no pressure on them to do anything; we were simply providing an environment that they were welcome to join if and when they wanted.
Again, as we were driving home I told Roy how enjoyable it had been for me. I was still thinking "we didn't really learn anything, but it was good nonetheless." I'm pretty dim at seeing possibilities when I have an expectation already firmly rooted. As we were talking about it, we both agreed that the concentration and enthusiasm of the younger ones was at least 10 times greater when they sensed that we were "just" playing music; we weren't trying to make sure they "got" something new. And the older ones so much enjoyed having a time to use what they know. When they had a problem, they could ask or look around.
The next week, the Sunday night of my marathon, I totally kicked back during group. I had my legs up and Roy just led random song after song from our repertoire. As I was taking the back seat I had a chance to observe even more, and was really struck with the fact that for us, THIS is our group. It's what works for this pair of teachers and our group of kids. Children really DO learn best by example. And not a phony example that says "here is what YOU should do, so I'm going to show you how it should be done so that you can follow" but a true "this is what I believe, this is what I'M going to do."
Adriel was sick. It was Roy's work Sunday. (Okay, already the day was long.) When Roy got home, we decided that he would stay home with Adriel and I would go by myself to teach group. As a group we were preparing to play at a nursing home in 2 weeks, so we already had a set list of about 20 songs and just needed to polish our cohesion and presentation. I was not prepared to teach anything more than that. So, we played. When it came time to sing "Amazing Grace", I asked Mr. Baird for some help (I can't sing and play. Roy usually leads at this point.) He took a moment to remind us who we're singing about and who we sing for. He asked us all to forget that we have untrained and (for the most part) untalented voices. He lightheartedly asked all the kids to sing out, because he was going to sing out and needed them to at least be as loud as him. And so, they did! (Usually getting the kids to sing is worse than pulling teeth.)
On the way home that night, I started thinking "that was a really great group time. Even though we didn't really LEARN anything, it was still encouraging and enriching."
The next week, Roy led. Again, we were mostly just polishing up for playing at the nursing home, so he opted to not introduce anything new. After we went through our list, he dismissed any who were through playing (gulp) and those of us who wanted to keep on gathered in and he led us in some Bible verse songs he's been working on. As our enthusiasm and volume grew the kids who had been so happy to be dismissed early started paying attention, gathering in, singing, going back to rough-housing for a while, then singing again. It was very relaxed; there was no pressure on them to do anything; we were simply providing an environment that they were welcome to join if and when they wanted.
Again, as we were driving home I told Roy how enjoyable it had been for me. I was still thinking "we didn't really learn anything, but it was good nonetheless." I'm pretty dim at seeing possibilities when I have an expectation already firmly rooted. As we were talking about it, we both agreed that the concentration and enthusiasm of the younger ones was at least 10 times greater when they sensed that we were "just" playing music; we weren't trying to make sure they "got" something new. And the older ones so much enjoyed having a time to use what they know. When they had a problem, they could ask or look around.
The next week, the Sunday night of my marathon, I totally kicked back during group. I had my legs up and Roy just led random song after song from our repertoire. As I was taking the back seat I had a chance to observe even more, and was really struck with the fact that for us, THIS is our group. It's what works for this pair of teachers and our group of kids. Children really DO learn best by example. And not a phony example that says "here is what YOU should do, so I'm going to show you how it should be done so that you can follow" but a true "this is what I believe, this is what I'M going to do."
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
yippety-do-dah!
I'm trying to think of some intelligent or thoughtful way to begin this post, but to be truthful, I'm still simply reveling in the excitement of FINISHING MY FIRST MARATHON! There are so many aspects of that day that continue to overwhelm me. I think I'll just begin a random run-down.
I thank God for His love and His strength and His grace. This was not the first time I've experienced that His strength is made perfect in my weakness, but it was once again powerfully overwhelming.
Waiting with Roy at the start, I was getting more and more anxious as the minutes ticked by. (If you hadn't heard, this past month I have been nursing a knee injury, and pretty much took a hiatus from training.) I was feeling unprepared, weak, and nervous, when I guy walked by with "Run with endurance the race that is set before you" "looking to Jesus the Author and Finisher of our faith" taped to his back on 2 sheets of paper. Ah, yes; the reminder I needed. I'm the type that has a hard time starting something if I'm not assured that it will end well and I will end doing it well. (pride? fear?)
Roy, Mom, and Adriel had all gotten up with me before the crack of dawn to be with me start to finish. Roy stayed with me in the start area until we were off and running. He was continually reassuring me and helping me to get excited rather than scared.
After we got going, my first pleasant surprise was seeing a friend who lives around mile 3. I was expecting to see him, but he had thought I was running my marathon last month, so he was surprised to see me. He was so happy for me and encouraging that it couldn't help but boost my confidence a bit, and at mile 3 I was still low in that.
A few minutes later I saw Roy, my Mom, and Adriel for the first time, and realized "this is really happening!" I disposed of my sweatshirt, hat and gloves with them. (If you're ever wanting a free, nice sport jacket, hat, or gloves, "sweep" up miles 2 and 3 of a big marathon.)
At mile 6 my good friend Beth was out cheering with her two children. How fun! At this point I still felt like I was bouncing on air. The rolling hills were keeping the quads/hams equally used, I guess, so it was feeling great. I was breathing deeply, keeping slow, and the brace I was wearing on my left knee was working very nicely.
Next I saw my sweet family around mile 10 (I think....) and learned that they had a flat tire. It reminded me that they were certainly doing this marathon with me, and possibly doing the harder part. All I had to do was run. They were scurrying around, finding places to see me, maneuvering through traffic, changing diapers, then sprinting out to the course, watching me run by, changing tires, zooming to the next place, and repeating it all again. Wow! I took off my brace at mile 10 to give my knee a chance to be itself and do a little work.
At the 13.1 I saw my friend Kara who had run the first leg of the relay. That was a great boost. And then 50 yards later Beth came sprinting up to me; apparently she had just made it to the half-way point and Kara told her I had just passed, so she ran hard to catch me. That was fun. I stopped and stretched. By now I was feeling like I had already done a long run; my hip was tight (most likely from wearing the brace, which changes my stride slightly.) I got a family update. The tire was changed and they would be out somewhere soon. So, I got going, feeling refreshed and stretched and excited and a whole lot more sure that I could finish.
Somewhere (15 or 16) I saw may family again. I was no longer bouncing on air, but it was still feeling like a party. I put my brace back on... my right knee (the good one), which had begun aching a bit.
At mile 17 I grabbed a handful of pretzels, and realized that my muscles in my hands weren't too coordinated. The handful was HUGE, and I didn't have the control of my right hand enough to pick off one pretzel at a time, so I just buried my nose in my little mountain of pretzels and ate them like a horse. A couple minutes later I was feeling improved coordination.
Kara AND Beth were out somewhere between 19 and 20, and joined me to 20, where my family was. We stopped and had a little party. I was already past my farthest training run (18), was feeling good, and pretty much just didn't want it to end! They had good food and drink for me and I lingered on that. Roy decided to accompany me the rest of the way, so I finally resumed running. That was awesome. Running into downtown was beautiful, but I was more amazed that my sweet husband was wanting to run 6 miles with me. (Honestly, I was a little nervous... he has not been running much.) But he did great, and was mostly in tune to when he should slide up onto the sidewalk. (He couldn't resist some handfuls of the mile 23 sugar-boosters.)
And then.... the final mile Beth rejoined us and we picked up the pace. They stopped at mile 26, and I went for the last .2 all by myself. And I still can't believe it's over!
I am humbled by all of the love and support. You all made it a wonderful experience for me. Maybe later I'll blog on some of the specific things I learned, but for now I'll leave it at that.
I thank God for His love and His strength and His grace. This was not the first time I've experienced that His strength is made perfect in my weakness, but it was once again powerfully overwhelming.
Waiting with Roy at the start, I was getting more and more anxious as the minutes ticked by. (If you hadn't heard, this past month I have been nursing a knee injury, and pretty much took a hiatus from training.) I was feeling unprepared, weak, and nervous, when I guy walked by with "Run with endurance the race that is set before you" "looking to Jesus the Author and Finisher of our faith" taped to his back on 2 sheets of paper. Ah, yes; the reminder I needed. I'm the type that has a hard time starting something if I'm not assured that it will end well and I will end doing it well. (pride? fear?)
Roy, Mom, and Adriel had all gotten up with me before the crack of dawn to be with me start to finish. Roy stayed with me in the start area until we were off and running. He was continually reassuring me and helping me to get excited rather than scared.
After we got going, my first pleasant surprise was seeing a friend who lives around mile 3. I was expecting to see him, but he had thought I was running my marathon last month, so he was surprised to see me. He was so happy for me and encouraging that it couldn't help but boost my confidence a bit, and at mile 3 I was still low in that.
A few minutes later I saw Roy, my Mom, and Adriel for the first time, and realized "this is really happening!" I disposed of my sweatshirt, hat and gloves with them. (If you're ever wanting a free, nice sport jacket, hat, or gloves, "sweep" up miles 2 and 3 of a big marathon.)
At mile 6 my good friend Beth was out cheering with her two children. How fun! At this point I still felt like I was bouncing on air. The rolling hills were keeping the quads/hams equally used, I guess, so it was feeling great. I was breathing deeply, keeping slow, and the brace I was wearing on my left knee was working very nicely.
Next I saw my sweet family around mile 10 (I think....) and learned that they had a flat tire. It reminded me that they were certainly doing this marathon with me, and possibly doing the harder part. All I had to do was run. They were scurrying around, finding places to see me, maneuvering through traffic, changing diapers, then sprinting out to the course, watching me run by, changing tires, zooming to the next place, and repeating it all again. Wow! I took off my brace at mile 10 to give my knee a chance to be itself and do a little work.
At the 13.1 I saw my friend Kara who had run the first leg of the relay. That was a great boost. And then 50 yards later Beth came sprinting up to me; apparently she had just made it to the half-way point and Kara told her I had just passed, so she ran hard to catch me. That was fun. I stopped and stretched. By now I was feeling like I had already done a long run; my hip was tight (most likely from wearing the brace, which changes my stride slightly.) I got a family update. The tire was changed and they would be out somewhere soon. So, I got going, feeling refreshed and stretched and excited and a whole lot more sure that I could finish.
Somewhere (15 or 16) I saw may family again. I was no longer bouncing on air, but it was still feeling like a party. I put my brace back on... my right knee (the good one), which had begun aching a bit.
At mile 17 I grabbed a handful of pretzels, and realized that my muscles in my hands weren't too coordinated. The handful was HUGE, and I didn't have the control of my right hand enough to pick off one pretzel at a time, so I just buried my nose in my little mountain of pretzels and ate them like a horse. A couple minutes later I was feeling improved coordination.
Kara AND Beth were out somewhere between 19 and 20, and joined me to 20, where my family was. We stopped and had a little party. I was already past my farthest training run (18), was feeling good, and pretty much just didn't want it to end! They had good food and drink for me and I lingered on that. Roy decided to accompany me the rest of the way, so I finally resumed running. That was awesome. Running into downtown was beautiful, but I was more amazed that my sweet husband was wanting to run 6 miles with me. (Honestly, I was a little nervous... he has not been running much.) But he did great, and was mostly in tune to when he should slide up onto the sidewalk. (He couldn't resist some handfuls of the mile 23 sugar-boosters.)
And then.... the final mile Beth rejoined us and we picked up the pace. They stopped at mile 26, and I went for the last .2 all by myself. And I still can't believe it's over!
I am humbled by all of the love and support. You all made it a wonderful experience for me. Maybe later I'll blog on some of the specific things I learned, but for now I'll leave it at that.
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