That title was just the first one that came to mind... I cooked 'em a few days ago, and the thought of them lingers. Maybe the smell too. But that something so pungent and crisp and bitter can become so soft and sweet and delicious with just a little time and some heat is an encouraging thought to me.
It's been so long since I've blogged any thoughts that my backlog is completely jammed and jumbled. One at a time, Anne; one at a time. I'm going to try to get out one coherent (if small) blog per week this year. Being that today is the 6th, it appears that this will be a rough go.
This year as I read my Bible I'm praying that God will remove my preconceived ideas about Him, and just daily reveal Himself to me in ways that keep me on my knees and in awe of Him and more dependent on Him. I've been too good at reading my beliefs into what's written. When stumped by a passage that doesn't conform to my image of who God should be, I find creative ways to skirt it or rephrase it; and that is so disgusting to me. My desire is to be conformed to His image, not Him to mine... but how often I do the latter!
This morning I was reading in Genesis 32, and at verse 10 my heart cried with Jacob, " I am not worthy of the least of all the mercies and of all the truth which You have shown Your servant." And what an awesome story, of trusting and obeying even with plenty of fear. I love the interaction God has recorded for us; Jacob reminding God (and maybe himself, too?!) that it was God who sent him; it was God who was leading; and it was God who knew the end from the beginning. Meanwhile, Jacob had plenty of reservation, but followed. He believed. I love this.
And, my sweet husband is asleep on the sofa; so that's it for tonight.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Monday, April 27, 2009
Old list
I just found an old list in a notebook from 2007 (I think). Being that I still need these reminders to myself, I've decided to post them. I think I compiled it in one of those "agh! What am I doing with my life! moments", to remind myself what my purposes are.
-Love God - Fear Him - Learn more about Him and what He wants in me
- every day take time to meditate and pray and read - ask God to lead me, have a time just to talk and listen to Him
- speak respectfully to Roy
-train Adriel (Katie too!)
1. obey the 1st time : be consistent in enforcing
2. have a grateful attitude (example)
3. read often to him
- keep the house clean, an atmosphere conducive to peace and health
-keep my heart clean, peaceful, obedient to God and Roy
-yoga at least twice/week
-run 5 days/week
-write on a regular basis (at least once/week)
-play my violin every day, push myself to develop technique
- show Adriel how - teach him bit by bit
- get up, start day with Roy
- to bed by 10:00
-Love God - Fear Him - Learn more about Him and what He wants in me
- every day take time to meditate and pray and read - ask God to lead me, have a time just to talk and listen to Him
- speak respectfully to Roy
-train Adriel (Katie too!)
1. obey the 1st time : be consistent in enforcing
2. have a grateful attitude (example)
3. read often to him
- keep the house clean, an atmosphere conducive to peace and health
-keep my heart clean, peaceful, obedient to God and Roy
-yoga at least twice/week
-run 5 days/week
-write on a regular basis (at least once/week)
-play my violin every day, push myself to develop technique
- show Adriel how - teach him bit by bit
- get up, start day with Roy
- to bed by 10:00
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
May the wind be at your back...
When I stepped outside for my run, I thought "ahh- the perfect day" (And truly, it was; I'll put in a plug for CA: 1/12/09, 73F, clear dark blue sky, bright sun.) But on to the moral...
I walked about a 1/4 mile, enjoying the day. Then I started running, still enjoying the day. I ran for about 10 minutes in one direction before a 90 degree turn. It was funny how right at that turn the wind picked up significantly. And another little turn brought even more wind. Of course at that time I realized the wind hadn't just picked up, but rather I only noticed it when it wasn't helping me. Made me realize (again) how easy it is to take things for granted when they're advantageous and get really perturbed when they're not!
It gave me a good opportunity to practice living right in the moment, vertically. Doing the best I can do in the exact circumstances I'm in right now, not comparing to past performance or future ideals.... I kept wanting to just give up and walk because it was so hard and slow pushing my big stroller against the wind. But why? Who said I had to be fast? Who said if you can't be fast, just give up? When people used to tell me "this will build character" I would reply with my brother's line "my character already has four walls and a roof"; but I'm seeing that really I'm still doing the excavation! (For the curious, I did stop and catch my breath and stretch, but then continued on slowly toward my finish, thinking of building character, not of how slowly I was running.)
Then, last night as I was getting ready for bed, I overheard Roy reading to Adriel from "A Young Person's Guide to Philosophy". And I quote: "St. Augustine said that time began for us when God created the world. This posed the question of God's existence before time. Augustine's answer was that God dwelt in an eternal present, outside earthly time. This led Augustine to the theory that "now" is all that really exists. The past is a present memory, and the future is a present expectation. This view allowed Augustine to stress the importance of what people are doing for God, not what they will do." End of quote and rather apropos, I thought.
P.S. Remembering Micah 6:8 though, I will have to add my slant to good old St. Augustine, and remind myself that all that I do for God is because I love Him so much for being The One who loves me when I don't or can't do anything! Thus, my life is for Him, not because He needs me, but because I need Him. I believe Augustine's stress was on "living presently", not "pleasing God through our works", but I felt it needed clarification, especially following Micah 6:8.
I walked about a 1/4 mile, enjoying the day. Then I started running, still enjoying the day. I ran for about 10 minutes in one direction before a 90 degree turn. It was funny how right at that turn the wind picked up significantly. And another little turn brought even more wind. Of course at that time I realized the wind hadn't just picked up, but rather I only noticed it when it wasn't helping me. Made me realize (again) how easy it is to take things for granted when they're advantageous and get really perturbed when they're not!
It gave me a good opportunity to practice living right in the moment, vertically. Doing the best I can do in the exact circumstances I'm in right now, not comparing to past performance or future ideals.... I kept wanting to just give up and walk because it was so hard and slow pushing my big stroller against the wind. But why? Who said I had to be fast? Who said if you can't be fast, just give up? When people used to tell me "this will build character" I would reply with my brother's line "my character already has four walls and a roof"; but I'm seeing that really I'm still doing the excavation! (For the curious, I did stop and catch my breath and stretch, but then continued on slowly toward my finish, thinking of building character, not of how slowly I was running.)
Then, last night as I was getting ready for bed, I overheard Roy reading to Adriel from "A Young Person's Guide to Philosophy". And I quote: "St. Augustine said that time began for us when God created the world. This posed the question of God's existence before time. Augustine's answer was that God dwelt in an eternal present, outside earthly time. This led Augustine to the theory that "now" is all that really exists. The past is a present memory, and the future is a present expectation. This view allowed Augustine to stress the importance of what people are doing for God, not what they will do." End of quote and rather apropos, I thought.
P.S. Remembering Micah 6:8 though, I will have to add my slant to good old St. Augustine, and remind myself that all that I do for God is because I love Him so much for being The One who loves me when I don't or can't do anything! Thus, my life is for Him, not because He needs me, but because I need Him. I believe Augustine's stress was on "living presently", not "pleasing God through our works", but I felt it needed clarification, especially following Micah 6:8.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Micah 6:8
"He has shown you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you, but to do justly, to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God?"
I've thought about this verse from the prophet Micah a bit; I'm always one to like a clear instruction, especially one relating to how to please God. Good with lists: that's me. There's something so self-satisfying in being able to check off the good things I've done. The problem is that self satisfaction is an oxymoron; at its best it's fleeting; at its worst it's a merciless treadmill of trying to create and do more and more things that make me feel like I'm good.
When I look at what Micah actually SAYS though, it's exactly the opposite of trying to please God through my own goodness. Check out this preceding passage:
With what shall I come before the LORD
and bow down before the exalted God?
Shall I come before him with burnt offerings,
with calves a year old?
Will the LORD be pleased with thousands of rams,
with ten thousand rivers of oil?
Shall I offer my firstborn for my transgression,
the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?
I hear Micah saying that it's not about all the sacrifices I can make; it's about throwing myself at God's mercy, and loving Him for it: realizing and living out that mercy trumps everything else, especially in things like judgement and justification of myself. To know that I just don't (and can't) quite cut it, but God loves me anyway... That is satisfaction!
I've thought about this verse from the prophet Micah a bit; I'm always one to like a clear instruction, especially one relating to how to please God. Good with lists: that's me. There's something so self-satisfying in being able to check off the good things I've done. The problem is that self satisfaction is an oxymoron; at its best it's fleeting; at its worst it's a merciless treadmill of trying to create and do more and more things that make me feel like I'm good.
When I look at what Micah actually SAYS though, it's exactly the opposite of trying to please God through my own goodness. Check out this preceding passage:
With what shall I come before the LORD
and bow down before the exalted God?
Shall I come before him with burnt offerings,
with calves a year old?
Will the LORD be pleased with thousands of rams,
with ten thousand rivers of oil?
Shall I offer my firstborn for my transgression,
the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?
I hear Micah saying that it's not about all the sacrifices I can make; it's about throwing myself at God's mercy, and loving Him for it: realizing and living out that mercy trumps everything else, especially in things like judgement and justification of myself. To know that I just don't (and can't) quite cut it, but God loves me anyway... That is satisfaction!
Friday, April 4, 2008
Woga
Roy and I enjoy practicing yoga together; these days, Adriel doesn't like to be left out of the action. He was hogging my mat so much that I decided to stop and take a photo. He calls it "woga".
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Unexpected help
While I was cooking dinner last night, for the sake of conversation I asked Adriel if he would help me set the table in a little while. Of course he was agreeable, but I didn't know that he had set to work this diligently. A few minutes later I walked out of the kitchen, and there was this! Needless to say, I'm proud of my boy.
Friday, January 11, 2008
To tell you the truth...
Recently someone commented to me that ever-popular phrase, "truth is relative." Is it? IF that is true -(just for the sake of argument, I'll assume it is) - must I assume that it is an idea belonging to some, unprovable, not really useful to humanity as a whole? I would propose that opinions are relative; perspectives are relative; dogma is (most often) relative; understanding truth is relative : the truth is not.
I believe God's Word, The Holy Bible, to be true and the truth; (that's just a faith thing with me.) It's where I turn when I want to get to the root of things like truth, and the meaning of life, and other such things. And yet, Jesus-God, through His inspired word, tells me that HE is the truth. "I am the way, the truth, and the life." When I think of Jesus saying this, I am suddenly aware of a very Personal aspect of truth. In a paradoxical way, this strengthens my faith that God's Word is truth too, since through it I learn of a Living Truth : an infinite, Creative source of all reality, far beyond the limited realms of my senses and intellect.
...
(This unfinished post has been sitting on my computer for 4 days now.... I'm just going to post what thoughts I already have down, because I'm not getting back to it in a timely manner. To be continued, if possible.)
I believe God's Word, The Holy Bible, to be true and the truth; (that's just a faith thing with me.) It's where I turn when I want to get to the root of things like truth, and the meaning of life, and other such things. And yet, Jesus-God, through His inspired word, tells me that HE is the truth. "I am the way, the truth, and the life." When I think of Jesus saying this, I am suddenly aware of a very Personal aspect of truth. In a paradoxical way, this strengthens my faith that God's Word is truth too, since through it I learn of a Living Truth : an infinite, Creative source of all reality, far beyond the limited realms of my senses and intellect.
...
(This unfinished post has been sitting on my computer for 4 days now.... I'm just going to post what thoughts I already have down, because I'm not getting back to it in a timely manner. To be continued, if possible.)
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