The No-Title Post

As I sit down to write my first post, my mind is grazing over the many thoughts on the many subjects that I have blogged about in the past (in my head.) To my dismay, I realize that tonight I am not prepared to articulate much of anything. I stared at the title box for quite a while, trying to decide what to write about. Finally, I typed in a title. Backspaced. Tried again. Backspaced. My self-doubter was now in full control. And I started to see a bit of myself: unable to decide; afraid of writing something less than great. And I saw that a bit of myself needs to change; to grow; to be able to make a mistake and learn from it; to be humble.
To illustrate: I'm already a little embarrassed of the title of my blog. When I was in the set-up process, I drew a blank as to what the title should be. I had decided on "Anne's Blog" (can't go wrong there, I thought) and then looked up the "help" to see what was recommended in a title. It said a title should be descriptive of the intent of the blog, not something generic (i.e. "John's Blog"). I was stumped. What WAS my intent? I felt like I had MANY good intentions. (Yes. I, too, have heard a saying about that.) So I prayed, asking God for guidance and help and an indication if this is something I should spend any of my time on. I prayed that I will always remember how little I know, how limited my understanding is, that I am here to learn. Immediately I thought "Here to Learn"? Or "Hear to Learn"? My first thought was "how fitting, especially for a Suzuki-thinking person" and my second thought was "way too cutesy, dumb, and 1st-grader-ish." Already, my fear factor was taking control again. I re-set the title to "Here to Learn", kept the background white, the text black, and branched out by letting the links be grey. Then I left for a few hours. When I returned, with Roy strumming his guitar on the bed behind me, I told him of my waffleing about the title. He laughs; "A-R is great. What's wrong with it being cute?" So I changed it back, this time determined to leave it alone and move on to posting some thoughts.
When I tried to decide what to write about, POW! My inability to decide hit me right between the eyes. It was too obviously what I needed to confront first.
I am here to learn: to learn by doing: to learn by listening (even if it means hearing my own mistakes.)