the ring on my mat

For years friends have asked why I take off my wedding ring when practicing yoga and I've always responded with short and/or ambiguous answers.  Here's the rest of the story. 

I first started taking off all jewelry when practicing even before I was married, just to be more comfortable and less distracted.  But once I was married, this small and simple choice started to carry more impact.  I think the more that I got asked about it the more my purpose solidified, even if I couldn't articulate it.  Now that I've taken some time to be back with just me on my mat, (outside of studios and thus questions) I feel like I can articulate why this is important to me.  

My wedding ring symbolizes the most important human relationship in my life.  It symbolizes a covenant I made with God and with Roy and it symbolizes my commitment to both of them. I have heard it said that the circle of a ring signifies eternity with no beginning and no end, but for me that is not what this band reminds me of.  I believe that our marriage is a beautiful, awesome gift to be enjoyed on this earth, with divine purpose, but certainly not something we will take with us when we leave this life. (Not to mention, a plain circle is not the mathematical symbol for infinity.) If there's one thing that this circle reminds me of, it is the cycles of life and relationship.  (Such as the cycle of honest and gracious communication, where defenses melt lower and lower, or the cycle of painful and accusatory communication, where the walls are built faster than the new Wal-mart.)  

  The amazing power of choice seems to be one of the recurring themes that my ring reminds me of, and yet it isn't all that.  Choice is an amazing gift - a divine gift - and it is in the freedom of choice that I can find what love and surrender and submit mean.  But also when I look at my ring, sitting innocently at the end of my mat, I'm reminded of how God is completely sovereign, in Roy's and my life especially. (Haha- only a youngest child would feel that God is "especially" _____ just for her!)

Taking off my ring reminds me that I am not my marriage.  My worth, my value, and my identity, are not given to me from my marriage.  I have those things straight from the source, and I can offer them to my husband, my children, my community.  My mat is a safe place where I can physically and emotionally and spiritually just be. I think this kind of safe place is what Jesus was talking about when he mentioned being in your closet: somewhere where you're willing to take everything else off and get real with God.  For a few time-stopping moments I don't have to be anything for anybody, even myself or God.  I get to just be.  I can experience grace washing over me, and love filling me.  

And somehow once I've poured myself out and I pick up my mat, when I slide my ring back on my finger it is so intentional; it is so meaningful; it is so not my identity, but such a precious gift.